This has been a very difficult week for me. Emotionally I feel drained. Physically, I am exhausted. And mentally….well I’ll just say that there are lots of thoughts floating around in the area above my shoulders, and I am not sure that anything needs to be floating around in there.
My stepdad was buried June 13th…..my sister inlaw has succumbed to her drug addiction after 3 years of being clean, and has abandoned her husband, son and home….my nephew, Eric who is 15, thought that he needed to escape from his mother’s inability to love him and so he ran away. We have heard nothing from him in 3 days. My husband’s company is fighting to stay open, but it seems that this is one battle that my husband won’t win. So, yes my mind has lots of floaters!!!!
But God is always so “on time” and amazing that He brought my focus to this passage of Scripture in 2 Corinthians, that I am sure you are very familiar with:
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
I know that I must have heard this verse dozens of times over the course of my first few years as a Christian. But to be perfectly honest, it is not one I applied to me or my life. Therefore I spent a great deal of time feeling defeated and discouraged.
But God is always so “on time” and amazing that He brought my focus to this passage of Scripture in 2 Corinthians, that I am sure you are very familiar with:
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
I know that I must have heard this verse dozens of times over the course of my first few years as a Christian. But to be perfectly honest, it is not one I applied to me or my life. Therefore I spent a great deal of time feeling defeated and discouraged.
After my Mom’s cancer diagnosis, in April 2011, I spent so much time praying and reading inspirational books various devotions, trying to some kind of relief from the hurt and pain that had consumed me, that God was able to convict my heart about how I would read His Word but not apply it to my own life. It’s like I believed God was speaking, but just not speaking directly to my own heart.
Now I am one that will literally carry on a conversation with God. And so I just came right out and asked Him, “ Lord, what does that even really mean...taking my thoughts into captivity? It sounds like it’s awesome and beneficial, but just what does that mean for me?"
This is what He showed me. When looking up the word captive in Webster's Dictionary, I was totally blown away by two of the definitions. One was "not able to act independently." The other attention grabbing definition was "obliged or forced to listen, whether wanting to or not."
Not able to act independently. Forced to listen whether wanting to or not. That’s me! But isn’t that just how we all are?
This is what He showed me. When looking up the word captive in Webster's Dictionary, I was totally blown away by two of the definitions. One was "not able to act independently." The other attention grabbing definition was "obliged or forced to listen, whether wanting to or not."
Not able to act independently. Forced to listen whether wanting to or not. That’s me! But isn’t that just how we all are?
There are thoughts that are so destructive, so defeating, that I cannot let them just wander around in my head, wreaking havoc, stealing joy, destroying hope, doing whatever they want to do. I actually have to stop those thoughts and force them to listen. You know, kind of like when you have to stop your child who is running wild and won't listen...grabbing their precious little cheeks with two hands, getting in their face, and saying, "You. Will. Listen. To. Me. Now."
Of course, it's important to remember what you are forcing your heart to sit down and listen to...or rather Who. You are taking every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. Jesus. Your heart needs to listen to (and obey) Jesus.
It's not mustering up your own strength. It's not fighting your thoughts with other nicer thoughts. Our weapons aren't carnal. We aren't fighting flesh with flesh. We are using God's Word and His truths to address lies and discouragement. His Word is mighty and powerful..”sharper than any two-edged sword…”
So this week I am struggling, as I said but I realize that I have a few choices:
-I can just try to ignore the destructive thoughts.
- I can try to tell myself to just get over it, to just think happy thoughts.
- I can force those thoughts to listen to God's truths, whether they want to listen or not!
And that "whether they want to listen or not" is so HUGE for me. Sometimes it just seems easier to stay discouraged. To live in defeat. Sometimes we just want to be good and mad. Sometimes we want to throw ourselves a big ol' pity party complete with chips and a bowl of M&M's, thank you very much. But what a miserable place to be.
I love how Renee Swope actually phrased it in her devotion the other day. She called it "bossing her heart." I was so excited when I read that because it was exactly what God had been showing me with 2 Corinthians 10:3-5!
I'm not even totally sure how to end this post today. My heart is struggling this week. My mind is cluttered with things it just doesn't need to be cluttered with. And the above post is what I know I need to do about it. My pride wants to have it all together. I like having it all together. But I don't have it all together. And I can't get myself together myself. And that's such a good thing, really. It keeps me dependent on Jesus. It keeps me from becoming too impressed with myself...and anyone else from becoming to impressed with me. :)
ANYWAYS, I, too, need to be bossing my heart today. :) And I thought I would share because God's Word is AWESOME! God is awesome! I thought maybe someone else would love this, too. Every heart needs to be forced to listen from time to time. My heart...I'm thinking it may need it more than most.
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