It seems like years since I have written....when it's actually only been a couple of weeks. The last "creative" writing I did was a tribute to my Mom...Dorothy Young, who lost her 5 month battle with cancer on Septmeber 12, 2011. I lived at her home, taking care of her the last 3 weeks of her life, and even though it was so heartbreaking to be there, it was also the most rewarding time of my life.
Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since we laid Mom's body to rest....and I still have not been able to wrap my brain around the fact that she is gone. I guess that's because I am staying so busy that I just don't have time to think.....
Well, I wanted to share just a little about my Mom, because she is responsible for molding me into the woman that I am today. She did that through love, sacrifice and PRAYER. Without my Mom, I cringe to think of where I would be, as I was somewhat of a prodigal in my earlier years. But thank GOD, and I truly mean THANK G-O-D for answering my Mom's prayers.....
Mom and I were on the way home from her last chemo treatment on July 18, 2011 when she asked me if I would write her obituary. I joked with her, as I just didn't want to think about doing that. So I told her that yes I would be glad to, as I would finally get to tell everyone what she was really like!!! We both laughed...but in reality, that is just what I did. I was able to share with others about the wonderful woman that my Mom was. And that's what I want to do here. I want to honor my Mom and God by sharing a part of her with anyone who reads this.
As I was looking through some of my Mom's belongings in her nightstand the day after she died, I found a journal that she had started on January 1, 2011. She only had 3 entries, and while I was puzzled as to why she stopped writing, I was also amazed at the words she had penned.
The first entry on January 1, 2011 read simply...."Last year was one that I am glad is gone. Looking forward to a better year."
The second entry on Janyary 7, 2011 read, "It's a cold day and I am content to sit in front of the fireplace with Abbott," ( her dog) "and just have a lazy day."
The last entry on February 6, 2011 said," There will be times in our lives when adversity will be unavoidable. The loneliness that comes form being misunderstood doesn't have to isolate us. God knows how to meet our every need. Suring our "Gethesemane moments" he drops His wonderful principals into the soil of our lives. As He waters our hearts with the truth of His Word, something wonderful transpires. We begin to see just how valuable we are to Him and how He uses each sorrow to draw us closer to Him."
Wow!!! I never knew that my Mom could express thoughts like that. No wonder I love writing...God didn't start this desire to share with others with me.....He started it with my Mom.
I found something very similar that I had written after I found out that Mom had cancer.....I wrote..
"Sometimes we ask, "God why have You allowed this heartache?" His answer, "I allow this and other painful trials to brush against your life so that you will know that My purpose is far greater than you can imagine." It is in times of trial and adversity that God purifies and shapes our hearts and lives so that we can reflect His grace to others. The key to facing heartache and difficulty victoriously is knowing that God is in control of our life and circumstances. Sometimes suffering is the only way for God to accomplish His purpose in our lives.
My Mom loved the Lord and it was because of her faith and trust in Christ that she was able to walk the path that God chose for her life. She had many trials and heartaches in her 80 years, and while she may have voiced her concerns or shared what was going on, she never compalined about the circumstances that God allowed to be a part of her life. She had that amazing faith and trust that God was using each and every situation for her good. Her circumstances became stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks and that was because of her attitude. She chose to see the good in situations and people. She chose to overlook mistakes. She chose to demonstrate tue Christian love to those in her life, even if it came at her own expense. She placed other first over and over again.
Mom kept her priorities as God wanted them, so God was first in her life and then her husband and then her children. She was a goldy wife and a woman who only not only loved but who showed compassion to others even at times when I felt that it was not deserved.
But then what do I deserve? I certianly do not deserve the love and forgiveness of a holy righteous God. But He gives that to me. And so many times I have thought that I didn't deserve a mother who never gave up loving and praying for me when I was a prodigal in my own way. God gave me a mother who lived her life as a testimony of what it means to be a Christian. When God placed people with needs in Mom's path she chose to do what God wanted her to do rather than wait for someone else to come along and do it. Her actions spoke volumes about the woman she was, and I am so very proud to be her daughter.
The past 5 months that I had with my Mom are times that I would not trade anything in the world for. No, they weren't all good, but each and every moment I learned more and more about my Mom and the woman that God chose for my mother. In learning more about her, I also learned more about God and His grace and tender mercies. My Mom loved as Christ would have each of us to love...unconditionally. She was an example to all who knew her of what it meant to WALK the life of a Christian.
I miss my Mom so much, but I know that I will see her again. She had that relationship with Christ, and I am so thankful that I do too. And then finally...no more tears!!!
