The First of Many Lasts

I am not sure when my Mom and I started sharing our "lasts" together.  I have tried to think back to all of the many things that we did together, and capture some of those times that we will not share any more, but I am struggling with that today.

On April 15, 2011, our lives were changed...forever.  That was the day that the doctor told my Mom that she had Stage IV Adenocarcinoma.  Inoperable cancer. She was given 6-8 months to live.  We had no tell tale signs, no forewarning that something of this magnitude was wrong.  Mom had simply found a small knot on her side, by her waist.  It looked like a bump that is left behind when you pull a tick off.  However, this "bump" grew to the size of a walnut in just a couple of weeks.

Her doctor sent her to a surgeon who removed the mass in her office and then called Mom a week later to say that it was malignant.  We still did not think that it was that bad.  After all, Mom felt good, she was still really active and had no complaints other than her back hurting.  But she has metal rods in her back from where it was broken over 20 years ago, so we just attributed the pain to that.

After a CAT scan, PET scan, Mammogram and MRI, we were told the terrible news.  A numbness over took me. Less than a year to live. ( At least that's what the doctor said).  Mom and I cried together and held each other as we tried to wrap our minds around what we had just been told.  Surgery was not an option.  Radiation was.  Chemo was also.

That was 2 months ago, and while my Mom has gone through radiation, we don't know yet the success that she had with that treatment.  Mom has opted NOT to have chemotherapy..  The doctor said it would not make any difference in her life expectancy and the side effects would be very difficult on her.  So Mom decided to forego chemo, and just place her trust in the One True Healer.

There are so many things that I know we will never do again, together.  And that grieves me.  When did that "last" happen?  Why wasn't I aware that it was our "last?"  Karen Kingsbury captures the "LASTS" in a childs life so wonderfully in her book, "Let Me Hold You Longer."

I am trying to capture all the moments spent with my Mom and lock them in my memory...never knowing when it will be our last time to shop, or spend time together just talking about "stuff." 

There is one last that we will NEVER share, and that is the last time we see each other.  You  see, my Mom is going to live forever.  Me too.  Not here in this earthly vessel, but in a body that is just like my Saviors.
My Mom may leave me temporarily....just for a short while, but we will see each other again...and then...no more lasts!!!