Withered or Watered

Just the other day I was outside watering some patio plants at my Mom's - when the 3 year old grandson of her neighbor decided that he wanted to "hep". I filled up the watering jug for him and he got busy. As I watched, I noticed that he was trying to water the actual flower - not the roots or the soil - and the water was pouring out all over the place. I quickly said, "Honey, you need to water the roots. If you do - the flowers will stay nice and pretty. There's no need to water the actual flower sweetheart. When the roots are watered - the flowers are, too."

And much to my delight - he caught on really quickly. He totally got it.

I got it too.

I've been realizing here lately that my roots need some tending. I need watered. I need to stop focusing so much on all the external things - what people see and such.

Just like those flowers need healthy soil, I need a healthy soul.

Without it, my life will look like those flowers do when I fail to water them - pale, droopy, and lackluster. That's not what I want those flowers to look like - and it's not how I want my life to look either.

My son has a baby boy coming in two months. Yep. I am going to have a grandson- Jacob Thomas...Just typing that makes the reality of it all set in. So I have really been asking the Lord to prepare my heart for him. Even though he will be hundreds of miles away in Texas. Watering my roots.

My son's life is about to change in some major ways with fatherhood. I've been asking God to help me serve my son and meet his needs correctly. Watering his roots.

My husband has been very busy at work and his company is struggling in the economy. I've been praying over the situation daily - asking God for guidance and peace and strength. Watering our roots.

And as I focus on nourishing the soil around here - please know that I'm hoping and praying that your soil is healthy, too.

Encouragement- We All Need It

I love writing.  The idea of putting onto paper the many bit and pieces of thoughts, or words of encouragement that have swelled up from my heart just blesses me.

I have been writing for years.  And I do mean YEARS!!!  When I was in high school, I had an English teacher that always expected the very best from her students, no matter what that “best” was for each.  She had a God-given ability to sense what each of us was capable of, and she firmly, but gently, worked to make sure that she did everything in her power to get us to tap into that potential.

This teacher saw that I liked to write poetry and prose, and she took the time after school on more occasions than I can count, to work with me.  She helped me polish some of my thoughts into shining statements.  She helped me bend sentences and phrases so that my thoughts went in the proper direction. She helped me open my mind so that I could truly see what was inside of me.  I will be forever grateful to her because…she encouraged ME!!

So, since so much of my time has been spent on thoughts that are not really encouraging….as I have shared before, my Mom is dying from cancer…I thought that I needed to write about some of the MANY things that encourage me…things that bring a smile to my face.

I would love to be in the company of a bunch of Jesus-lovin’ women, with a sugar free vanilla iced coffee in hand - talking about what encourages us.... But since that isn’t possible (at least not yet), I thought that I would just share some of my

encouragements here…..

I'm super encouraged by witnessing people do crazy-awesome things with their lives. Things that make a difference. Things that other people have never done because it was considered too difficult.

Things that force the doer to overcome obstacles and beat the odds. Things that would be virtually impossible without faith, tenacity, and endurance.

Witnessing others using the talents God gave them to the fullest - is pretty inspiring.

Seeing people make things happen really gives me the urge to do the same. When we choose to improve ourselves - no matter how small the change is - we are also choosing to improve those around us. And THAT is powerful.

Some other encouragers?????

My husband…..I loved him FIRST. Our falling in love was definitely a God-thing because getting married again after a very painful divorce was NOT a part of MY plan. I am so thankful that it was part of God's plan.  I am definitely one very blessed woman.  My man is not only AWESOME, but he loves God FIRST.  That makes everything else just right!

My boxers…Titus, Tanner and River (Tawny River Girl).  I love my doggies. They love unconditionally.
Sunshine.

Hiking.  I love seeing all the critters and the flowers….some of the most beautiful parts of God’s creation.

Reading the autobiographies and stories of successful people.

Blogs.  I love writing my blog.  Even if no one else reads it.  I write to express what is in my heart and to share my faith and what God has done for me and those I care about.

Coffee.

My Mom's courageous attitude.  She is in the end stages of cancer, and yet she has not lost her spunky personality.  Not amidst the pain, or sleepless nights.  THAT encourages me.  I love her so much.  I miss her already.  I miss so much of what we can’t do together any more.  But I am thankful that she is with me today. I am encouraged by her faith and strength.

Psalm 119.

Warm weather.

Spending time with girlfriends.

Budding flowers in Spring.

Laughter.

Giving to others for no reason other than to give.

Music.

Testimonies…how awesome to hear how lives have been forever changed because of that simple act of faith…trusting in the Savior.

Traveling.

 And hugs...lots of them.  I am a hugger!!
Think about what encourages YOU!

It's Monday

Oh my, another Monday!!!  I used to dread the thought of another Monday.....but not anymore.  I have really had a change in my mindset and attitude as I have gotten older.  I am thankful for each and every day.
Since Mom was diagnosed with cancer, I have felt like the days are passing so much quicker than they did before.  It's been two months since she was diagnosed, and for me at least, it seems like just last week.

I was looking through my journals and found some really sweet Scripture verses as well as some other quotes that have helped brighten many days for me.  So thought that I would share them here, and hope that anyone reading this would get a blessing!


Create in me a clean heart, O God.  renew a loyal spirit within me.- Psalm 51:10

"God loves each of us as it there were only one of us."  Augustine

Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considered important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. - 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

"Charasteristics which define beauty are wholeness, harmony and radiance."  Thomas Aquinas

"The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince." - Vince Lombardi 

The First of Many Lasts

I am not sure when my Mom and I started sharing our "lasts" together.  I have tried to think back to all of the many things that we did together, and capture some of those times that we will not share any more, but I am struggling with that today.

On April 15, 2011, our lives were changed...forever.  That was the day that the doctor told my Mom that she had Stage IV Adenocarcinoma.  Inoperable cancer. She was given 6-8 months to live.  We had no tell tale signs, no forewarning that something of this magnitude was wrong.  Mom had simply found a small knot on her side, by her waist.  It looked like a bump that is left behind when you pull a tick off.  However, this "bump" grew to the size of a walnut in just a couple of weeks.

Her doctor sent her to a surgeon who removed the mass in her office and then called Mom a week later to say that it was malignant.  We still did not think that it was that bad.  After all, Mom felt good, she was still really active and had no complaints other than her back hurting.  But she has metal rods in her back from where it was broken over 20 years ago, so we just attributed the pain to that.

After a CAT scan, PET scan, Mammogram and MRI, we were told the terrible news.  A numbness over took me. Less than a year to live. ( At least that's what the doctor said).  Mom and I cried together and held each other as we tried to wrap our minds around what we had just been told.  Surgery was not an option.  Radiation was.  Chemo was also.

That was 2 months ago, and while my Mom has gone through radiation, we don't know yet the success that she had with that treatment.  Mom has opted NOT to have chemotherapy..  The doctor said it would not make any difference in her life expectancy and the side effects would be very difficult on her.  So Mom decided to forego chemo, and just place her trust in the One True Healer.

There are so many things that I know we will never do again, together.  And that grieves me.  When did that "last" happen?  Why wasn't I aware that it was our "last?"  Karen Kingsbury captures the "LASTS" in a childs life so wonderfully in her book, "Let Me Hold You Longer."

I am trying to capture all the moments spent with my Mom and lock them in my memory...never knowing when it will be our last time to shop, or spend time together just talking about "stuff." 

There is one last that we will NEVER share, and that is the last time we see each other.  You  see, my Mom is going to live forever.  Me too.  Not here in this earthly vessel, but in a body that is just like my Saviors.
My Mom may leave me temporarily....just for a short while, but we will see each other again...and then...no more lasts!!!

The Ugly Omelet

The Ugly Omelet……..I know that you are thinking “What kind of a name is that for a  blog ?”  Well, look at just what makes up an omelet……. First the eggs have to be broken, before   their contents can be used.  Then  the entire contents of the egg are “beaten”  and scrambled together to make something different…something that has been changed and can be used.  After that, other ingredients are added and then everything is placed into a heated pan to cook until the ingredients are set.  Careful attention is given to make sure that the ingredients don’t scorch or burn.  The mixture is then folded in half and removed from the heat and these eggs that were broken and beaten are transformed into an omelet.

That says so much about us.  God takes US, after we have been broken and beaten, puts us in His mixing bowl, adds family, blessings, trials, friendships, and then places us in the fire, all the while, He is watching to make sure that we don’t  get burned.  When we have been in the fire long enough, He takes us out, folds us in two so that all the circumstances and life experiences that we have been cooked with throughout our lives, are included in the new being that He has created. 

“But why ugly,” you may ask…..Well, ugly can be defined as “displeasing in appearance.”  I think that God sees us as being displeasing in appearance until   our brokenness brings us before Him, knowing that He is all we need.  That in Him all things are and will be. He looks at us and sees the dark, ugly corners of our heart.    So very often, we are broken, yet we refuse to let God use that brokenness for His glory.  We have to allow ourselves to be cracked wide open so that all that is in us can be scooped up by God and mixed with His forgives, His grace, His mercy and the blood of His Son. When we surrender to His will and  allow ourselves to be transformed, and used by God Almighty,  then we find that we are able to embrace the past hurts and trials in victory.  We become amazingly aware of His purpose for us.  We can look back and see how He was in control of even the smallest circumstances in our lives.  It is then that we are whole….we become the person that God intended for us to be.  We are eggxactly the way He wants us.

My sole intention and purpose for putting into words what God has laid on my heart, is to bring Him honor and glory.  My life has not always been what it is now.....I have been a very ugly person, and have displeased God more times than I can count...more often than I want to even think about.  I am so thankful that God does not keep track of my wrongs and ugliness.  I am thankful that He loves me enough to forgive me when I come before Him with a broken heart.  I am thankful that He loved me enough to will His Son to go to a cross and die for me.  For MY sins.  For MY wrongs.

If God can use me as an instrument to share His grace, mercy and love with others, then I am again most thankful.  What I will be sharing here in the days to come is meant for one purpose....to draw others closer to the One who can take all the scrambled messes and broken yokes, and turn them into something amazing...something that truly reflects the awesomeness of the One and Only Creator.